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mercredi 26 mars 2014

Infant Anger Management: The Secret To Eliminating And Preventing Tantrums

By Leanna Rae Scott


Much of the time parenting "experts," which is to say people who got that way mostly by attending college and not so much by raising children, tell us that kids less than six months or a year old don't have the ability to experience real anger. These "experts" see newborns as emotionally pre-functional. They say that even if babies sound angry they really aren't. They're just instinctually communicating or something. I don't know what these parenting professionals believe begins to happen at this magical age of six months or a year that makes babies finally able to be angry when they sound angry. But I know that I disagree with their theory.

By having and raising thirteen children, I've learned a few things about how babies function. I believe that newborns have real emotions. I'm certain they can and do occasionally experience real anger even from the moment they're born. Whenever babies' needs aren't met, anger is their natural human reaction. Infants' anger can and often does escalate into tantrums. And, babies are very capable of interpreting caregiver responses to their anger and are able to understand if they're getting what they need. If infants regularly don't get their anger needs met, they learn to trust that likelihood and are predisposed to escalating quickly into tantrums. If, conversely, infants consistently do have their anger needs met, they learn to trust that likelihood and are predisposed to not throwing tantrums.

Every one of my first five babies threw temper tantrums, but none of my last eight children did. The last eight didn't throw tantrums because I had learned with child number five what needed to be changed in my parenting style. He was fourteen months old when this happened and he was free of temper tantrums within one week of my starting the new techniques with him. These techniques are now part of what I call, "Infant Anger Management."

There's no scientific proof for theories that all children throw tantrums or that tantrums are a normal part of children's development. Also, there are many false theories about what causes temper tantrums in children, including brain chemicals! The most common cause theories, however, are children's: lack of problem-solving skills, low tolerance for frustration, lack of communication abilities, need for attention, and lack of ways to let out emotions. None of these are causes of tantrums. But they are causes of pre-tantrum anger, which, if responded to appropriately by parents, dissipates easily without leading to tantrums. Children who are used to parents responding properly to such anger generally develop patience and do not escalate with their anger.

The first step of "Infant Anger Management" is to respond properly to children's and infants' pre-tantrum anger. In this method I teach parents everything they need in order to totally prevent and totally eliminate tantrums in their children, even if they have ODD, ADD, or ADHD.




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